Surat ‘Tahniah’ CR7 kepada Lionel Messi

Posted: 20/01/2013 in Sukan

CR to Messi

Surat ini aku alih bahasakan sebab bila terjumpa dalam Yahoo News selepas Messi sah memenangi Ballon D’ Or kali keempat berturut-turut. CR memang seorang yang takkan berputus asa, sesuatu yang disemai sejak beliau memulakan karier di Abeldinha melalui buku autobiografi beliau  ‘The Obsession for Perfection’ hasil tulisan Luca Caioli. Jadi aku menganggap ‘surat’ ini sesuatu yang akan memotivasikan beliau sendiri untuk merampas Ballon D’Or dari MEssi tahun hadapan.

Hai Lionel,
Saya menulis surat ini untuk mengucapkan tahniah kerana memengani Ballon D’Or sekali lagi. Melihat raut wajah saya, tentunya saya ‘gembira’ untuk awak. Maafkan saya kerana tidak mengucapkan tahniah dalam majlis tersebut kerana saya lebih tinggi dari awak dan tidak dapat mencari awak dalam keramaian majlis tersebut. Tambahan pula, orang ramai memerli awak dengan jaket dan tali leher yang agak jengkel, dan tidak mahu awak pulang menukar pakaian.
Ia merupakan tahun yang baik buat saya dan untuk awak juga. Awak telah memecahkan rekod dunia dengan menjaringkan gol lebih banyak dari saya. Sudah tentu, orang yang bijak tahu kejayaan pasukan lebih beerti dari kegemilangan peribadi dan saya telah membantu RM memenangani La Liga 2012 sementara awak hanya Copa del Rey. Semasa saya memenangi Copa Del Rey, saya tidak memenangi Ballon D’Or. Saya harap pengundi lebih memandang saya dalam hal ini.

AWak telah memenangi Ballon D’Or empat kali berturut-turut dan tentunya awak gembira. Tetapi, empat kali tersebut hanya untuk satu kelab, tetapi saya memenangi liga bersama RM di Sepanyol dan MU di England. Hanya beberapa pemain yang mempunyai mental dan ketahanan yang tinggi membuktikan mereka jaguh dengan bermain di liga yang berlainan dan kelab yang berlainan. Awak harus mencubanya!

Orang selalu membandingkan kita, tetapi tiada perbandingan. Ya, kita dinamakan sebagai ‘American’. Saya diberi nama sempena Ronald Reagen, pelakon terkenal dan Presiden dua penggal tapi awak dinamakan sempena Lionel Richie, lelaki yang menyanyi lagu menari di siling. Ternyata perbandingan yang jauh sekali. Saya telah mengandungkan wanita dan mendapat zuritat pada 2010 tetapi awak hanya tau selok belok tersebut pada 2012. Saya membesar tinggi dan kuat tapi awak mungkin kekurangan hormon untuk membesar. SAya juga memakai sut tuxedo yang lengkap untuk majlis formal sedangkan awak tidak tahu langsung bergaya. Sungguh tidak adil membezakan kita.
Akhir sekali, saya tetap mengucapkan tahniah, Loe. Tapi harus awak ingat, berapa banyak pun anugerah Ballon D’Or, saya telah memenanginya terlebih dahulu.
Yang benar,
Cristiano Ronaldo

p/s : Saya mohon maaf kerana menulis surat ini dalam Bahasa Inggeris, salah satu bahasa yang boleh saya gunakan, kerana saya tahu awak hanya fasih bertutur Bahasa Sepanyol. Minta Gerard Pique tolong alihbahasakan🙂

Versi Bahasa Inggeris :
Dear Lionel,
I am writing you this note to offer my congratulations on winning the Ballon d’Or. Again. As you can see by the look on my face, I am very happy for you. Please forgive me for not congratulating you at the gala, but since I am so tall and statuesque and you are so tiny and maintain terrible posture, I couldn’t find you in the crowd. Also, since someone played a joke on you by telling you to wear that garish spotted jacket and tie, I didn’t want to keep you from getting home and changing your clothes as fast as you possibly could. That’s how thoughtful I am.
It was another tremendous year for me, and, supposedly, for you as well. You had to set a world record in order to score more goals than me. Of course, smart people know that team accomplishments are far more important than personal achievements and I helped my club to win La Liga in 2012 whereas you only helped your club win the Copa del Rey. The year my club only won the Copa del Rey, I did not win the Ballon d’Or. I suppose this just shows that voters hold me to a higher standard than you.
Anyway, you have now won the Ballon d’Or a record four times in row. I guess you’re happy about that. Yet, Andy Gray, England’s most respected sexist broadcaster, has questioned whether you could play well on a cold night in Stoke. After all, you have only won titles for one club, whereas I have won titles for clubs in La Liga and the Premier League. But very few players have the physical talent and mental strength to prove themselves on different teams and in different leagues, so you should only feel a little bit bad about that.
People are always trying to compare you and I, but there really is no comparison. Yes, we were both named after Americans — I was named after Ronald Reagan, a talented actor and two-term president, whereas you were named after Lionel Richie, a man who sang about dancing on the ceiling. Which is both impossible and patently ridiculous. I impregnated a woman and created a child in 2010, but it took you until 2012 to figure out how to do those things. I grew tall and strong naturally and you needed enough growth hormones to make even Lance Armstrong feel guilty in order to be neither of those things. Also, I wear proper tuxedos to formal events while you wear a suit made out of clown pants. So comparing us is both silly and unfair.
In conclusion, I congratulate you, Leo. But remember: No matter how many Ballon d’Or awards you win, I still won it first.
Confidently yours,
Cristiano Ronaldo
P.S. My apologies for writing this letter in English, one of several languages I am able to speak, when I know you only speak Spanish. Maybe Gerard Pique will translate it for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s